Domestic violence advocacy is meant to be about justice, accountability, and standing with survivors. It is supposed to be about giving a voice to those who have been silenced and ensuring that harm does not go unanswered.

But sometimes, the people who call themselves advocates do not live up to the responsibility of that title.

Sometimes, those who speak the loudest about protecting survivors are nowhere to be found when it matters most. Sometimes, those who build entire careers around fighting for justice will, when faced with a hard truth, choose silence—or worse, choose to stand with the abuser instead.

This is a betrayal.

It is a betrayal of the survivors who trusted them. A betrayal of the principles they claimed to uphold. A betrayal of everything that true advocacy is supposed to mean.

A person who defends an abuser is not an advocate.
A person who prioritizes the comfort of the accused over the suffering of their victims is not an advocate.
A person who profits off of domestic violence awareness while working behind the scenes to shield a perpetrator from justice is not an advocate.

They are an enabler. A fraud. A hypocrite.

To the survivors who have ever felt ignored, dismissed, or abandoned by someone who claimed to fight for people like them—you are not alone.
To those who have watched a system bend in favor of the accused rather than the harmed—you are not alone.
To those who have seen advocacy used as a platform rather than a true purpose—you are not alone.

Real advocacy means standing firm in the face of difficult truths.
It means recognizing that justice cannot be conditional.
It means protecting survivors, even when it’s inconvenient.

Those who only believe in accountability when it applies to someone else were never advocates to begin with.

If you are looking for real support, real advocacy, and real resources for survivors, please visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline.